Fertility Week #LifeWithoutChildren by Stephanie Phillips

As I lay in bed earlier this week I had a revelation that shocked me. On the morning of the same day I had contacted More To Life as I wanted to know if they would be interested in sharing a blog from me for Tuesday 30th October #LifeWithoutChildren which was part of Fertility Week.

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This Time Tomorrow - Stephanie Phillips

Less than one day, less than 24 hours until World Childless Week 2018 starts.

We have seven days ahead of us to raise awareness and help spread the message that there is support available. No one needs to feel alone. This week is about all of us and I need your support to make it happen. Here are a few ways you may be able to help.

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It's all happening! - Stephanie Phillips

Whilst I have been quiet over the last few months with regards to blogs I have been talking and sorting all things World Childless Week. I have been working alongside Berenice Smith of Hello Lovely updating and improving the website. I only said to Berenice yesterday that the website started out like a single forget me not flower still in bud, and is slowly blossoming into a full flower head with multiple flowers, and showing its full glory.

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Father in his heart - Stephanie Phillips

I don’t know my biological father and there has never been a man in my life that I’ve seen as a father figure. Ogie, my granddad, is the only role model I have but sadly he passed away when I was still a teenager.

With Father’s Day approaching I look at my husband and wonder how he feels. The adverts for gifts are appearing thick and fast and even on social media I get a notification of “Father’s Day Tex Mex Buffet”. He’s never expressed sadness on this day but with advertising everywhere you turn it’s something that he can’t avoid. I’ve made the resolution to ask him about his feelings. Is he not bothered or does he mask any emotions? I need to know. 

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Starting Line

The last few weeks have flown by in organised and unorganised chaos. After the excitement of Fertility Fest I desperately wanted to get online and reach out to everyone who I’d met but I couldn’t. Hubby had a week off work so the days were spent on little trips out, the odd pub meal and generally enjoying a few days of rest and relaxation. As much as I loved spending time with him I was biting the bullet to get back on the computer when he returned to work on the Monday.

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#Flip The Script - Stronger Than You Know

Last week I was still struggling with what to post each day during the American NIAW. I wanted to represent those of us who would never achieve the dream of being a parent and show that World Childless Week was there to support people throughout the year.

I was aware that NIAW was using #flipthescript throughout the week which immediately made me think of flipping the script from a negative to a positive. The only problem was that although I had the spark of an idea, I had been struggling to put pen to paper.

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#Flip The Script - Worthy from the day you were born

When did I stop deciding I was worthy? I can’t think of a day or a time. What made me question my worth or had I never considered my own worth until I compared myself to someone else? These are questions that have suddenly come into my mind and each question seems to raise more questions.

Did I feel worthy at ten, twenty or thirty years old; was it a question that ever crossed my mind? Does my worth hinge on one single element of my life, my inability to have a child? Is that the one deciding factor that I allowed to consume me and devour my worth?

Wow.

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#Flip The Script - Take Control

On Thursday during World Childless Week we shared out thoughts on comments that hurt. What we didn’t do was talk much about how we can respond to these comments. I think we find it hard to have a natural response because we are emotionally drawn in; be it anger, upset or disbelieve. Our reactions and responses are also swayed by the person saying the comment, the occasion and how confident we are to speak openly about our childlessness. 

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