Pronatalism exists.

It exists every time a woman is seen as more mature once she becomes a wife and once she becomes a parent.

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic. While growing up, I thought I’d meet my Prince Charming by the time I turned 26, be married by 28 and become a mother by 30.

The lotus flower has many meanings because it grows out of deep mud, through murky water, and blooms into a beautiful flower.

When I hear “We Are Worthy”, I often hear an assertion - not so strong as to be aggressive, but as though there is doubt to be refuted or a defensiveness filtering the words - enough to colour the tone.

I am sure it is important to have hobbies for our childless days, especially if we can share them with other women (or men) of different ages, whether they have children or not.

In this video (in French) the notions of value, dignity, creativity and inner power as childless woman are explored.

We have hearts. We have skills. We have intelligence. We have compassion. We have a sense of
humour. We are a valid and meaningful part of the world. We don’t have children.

I wrote this song when I was feeling the opportunities to have a child slipping through my fingers, and also pondering the existential question of whether my life without children would be equal to another version of my life as a mother.

I’m a childless therapist and since a portion of my work is play therapy, I can’t count the times someone has said “At least you work with children!” as if that makes it easier.

There is a deep well at the end of my garden

It is full of sadness

I don’t go down to it very often nowadays

Not least because at the bottom it is full of babies

The room was thrumming with women in power outfits; hundreds of made-up faces that I didn’t know. I was there to feel empowered and to connect with other women. Yet as I entered that room, I felt a million miles from empowered.

During the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, when I kept seeing photos of all these families doing fun things to try and get through the lockdown, it made me a little sad.

I know that as a human being

I am fundamentally worthy

This year has been one for the books, and many of my CNBC Sisters are hurting, lonely, and questioning the value of their lives – to the edge.

As a mother… argh, how many commentaries do we read that start with these words? I see it all the time. I see it all the time because each, and every, time I feel excluded from what comes next in that statement.

When all seems lost and the world has seemingly forgotten you…

I see you,

I hear you,

I feel your pain.

It might be a surprise

just what it took, to prize

this story from our hearts and into the parts

of our daily lives for you to see us,

When asked whether as a childless woman, I feel worthy, I wondered at first, worthy of what?

The bud held promise of scarlet blooms, with petals spread to the wind.

We can’t have children,

No, it’s true,

Another reason to add to my list:

My body isn’t enough,

I am not enough.

My journey of childlessness began in 2013. I got married in 2009 and I simply assumed that the next step was to have children. Little did I know what was ahead!

Grief is insisting I bring all of myself and my life, as lived so far, to and through its gateway. Frankly I'm not at all keen. There's far too much I'd rather gloss over, drown out, shake off, put back, lose, forget, disown or reject.

It’s hard to explain the feeling I have now compared to the feeling I had then. It’s actually not that long ago when something just changed.

I am 47, I don’t have children. I went through a real grief period in my late 30s when I realised that having children just wasn’t going to happen for me.

Given I no longer feel alone in my childlessness, I really appreciate the growing community around the issue and am submitting this to World Childless Week 2021 which has been key to growing that community. I hope YOU are no longer alone too. There are many of us "out there".

I wasn’t sure as a young adult that I would want children, but as the years moved on, I realized that raising a child of our own with my partner was something I was truly longing for.

Ever been to a gathering or bbq where the conversation focuses on children?