When did I stop deciding I was worthy? I can’t think of a day or a time. What made me question my worth or had I never considered my own worth until I compared myself to someone else? These are questions that have suddenly come into my mind and each question seems to raise more questions.
Did I feel worthy at ten, twenty or thirty years old; was it a question that ever crossed my mind? Does my worth hinge on one single element of my life, my inability to have a child? Is that the one deciding factor that I allowed to consume me and devour my worth?
Wow.
Read moreOn Thursday during World Childless Week we shared out thoughts on comments that hurt. What we didn’t do was talk much about how we can respond to these comments. I think we find it hard to have a natural response because we are emotionally drawn in; be it anger, upset or disbelieve. Our reactions and responses are also swayed by the person saying the comment, the occasion and how confident we are to speak openly about our childlessness.
Read moreOn Wednesday during World Childless Week 2017 I asked people to share letters addressed to the reason they were childless. All but one of the letters I received were full of pain, sadness and anger. That one letter surprised me because it thanked infertility. So today I am also going to #FlipTheScript and share my gratitude for my childlessness.
Read moreWhen I decided to start World Childless Week my biggest fears were that no one would join in, that I would be a one man band that had created a failure. My fears were soon squashed as people volunteered to share their words and their stories.
Whilst some people were confident to publicly share their stories the majority were nervous to step out of their comfort zone and many chose to remain anonymous. The stories where people shared the reasons why they were childless were emotive. Black and white facts are hard to ignore when they are mixed with the emotional and physical pain that is attached to someone’s body, mind and heart.
Read moreThe journey to accepting infertility is a journey that is either separate from or intertwined with new dreams. Some dream new dreams and some allow dreams to pass away and create a new reality apart from anything they envisioned.
Read moreOn Monday during World Childless Week we showed that the childless are in every corner of the world. In the UK 1 IN 5 women remain childless at the age of 45 and that percentage is on the increase. A recent study showed that whilst 20% are childless by choice (childfree) the remaining 80% are childless not by choice. Our numbers are rising and yet we are still a largely unrecognised minority which leaves many of us thinking that we are alone.
Read moreLast year when I was planning World Childless Week I decided to set a theme for each day of the week. I wanted the week to show different aspects that effect the life of someone who is childless not by choice. I thought about what subjects were discussed frequently and how I personally felt about being childless.
I realised that lack of self worth was a subject I'd seen discussed and expressed on numerous occassions. Why do we doubt our worth? It was a question that I was not sure I could answer. It was a question that needed to be addressed. I decided that one day needed to focus on expressing and celebrating that "We Are Worthy".
Read moreAfter the success of World Childless Week 2017 I was faced with the question of how to move forwards. Not with myself but with World Childless Week. I wanted to create a website to enable those who were not on Facebook to have access to all of the articles, posters and blogs that everyone had so generously contributed, but what else should I do? Would it be enough to purely represent our community one week out of fifty two? Would it be enough to focus on seven days a year or was there a need to do more?
Read moreWhen Stephanie found out she would never have children her world flipped upside down. She didn’t feel like she fit in anywhere and didn’t know what to do. Her head was filled with questions that whirled around in her mind. Stephanie felt like she was stuck in the middle, floating in limbo between those who were trying to be a parent and those who had already succeeded. Her future was no longer how she envisioned but was dark and foreboding. The hopeful glimmer of motherhood she’d seen had been snubbed out. Stephanie felt alone.
Read moreWith the 1st of April looming I am sure that children and adults alike are starting to plan jokes and stunts they can play on family and friends. I am sure there will be plenty of posts and video’s circulating social media for me to view. Will they make me giggle, laugh out loud, cringe or just feel disappointed? Not disappointed, because the prank didn’t go to plan, but disappointed because the joke has a tainted side.
Read moreAt the age of 39 I found out that my husband and I would never be parents. The pain was instant. The doctor’s words had the same effect as letting off a grenade in my heart. My dreams of who I was and the life I had hoped to lead were shredded and thrown in every direction.
Read moreA few weeks ago a situation arose out of the blue that left me feeling anxious. Each morning I felt my stomach roll over as I never knew what the day would bring. More often than not the day passed without incident but I still found it hard to sleep at night as my mind battled with thoughts of what if’s. Anxiety and insomnia are definitely the best of friends.
Read moreToday can can be a day of mixed emotions. There will be some of us who whilst recogning and celebrating the love for our own mothers are hiding an inner sadness at not having our own children.
Read moreThis is an awful article! The writer is clearly a pro-natalist, and figures that the only noble thing to do is have children, and at that, assumes the least of those of us who do not have children. How awful that 60% of Europe is living in countries that have leaders who are childless (the world will surely end because of it)! She assumes that childless adults are detached from family life (as if the ONLY definition of family is that with children), and that we have no personal tie to the next generation.
Read moreFor those women who, like myself, are childless not by choice (CNBC), Mother's Day brings a mixture of feelings: love and appreciation for our own mothers (and mothers everywhere), and sadness that we will never experience motherhood ourselves.
Read moreThe nature of humans is that we bunch together into our groups where we recognise ourselves in others. We feel safe when surrounded by people who understand us: our thoughts, our lifestyle, our aims and dreams. It can be positive and uplifting to reach out and be amongst those who understand our minds.
Read moreMany of us find these preceding weeks and final day full of conflicting emotions. We want to celebrate our relationship with our mother and show our appreciation however this can inflame our pain of being childless. Those who attend any place of worship may be faced with a mother's day service that has the potential to upset and alienate.
Read moreThe day after speaking with Berenice about this website I started to compile a list of the support and social groups that I wanted to include on the website. I wrote a brief introduction that I would be placed at the top of the social group’s page. A few hours later I suddenly reflected on something I had discussed with Berenice and how it linked to something I’d briefly written about in the social group’s description.
Read moreWhilst World Childless Week focuses on raising awareness over the period of one week it is hoped that the World Childless Week website will become a source of information and support for each day of the year.
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