Calling All Allies - Emma Palmer

I think a lot about ally-ship (is that a word?!) Ally-ship particularly, but not only, in terms of how those of us without children can be effective allies. It’s true that the lives of the happily childfree can be very different to the lives of folk early in the process of coming to terms with not being able to have a child, or never having been in the circumstances to have had them (and perhaps not yet having found their ‘plan B’ in the words of Gateway Women founder Jodie Day). It’s also true – I’ve seen it happen many times – that a lot can be gleaned and learned between the childless and childfree.

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Mums Not The Word - Denise Felkin (photographer)

I conceived Mum’s Not The Word because there appears to be a massive negative premise that suggests that women who do not reproduce are selfish, do not like children or are not real women. Females who do not procreate are too often misrepresented by negative terms: barren, spinster, wicked stepmother or crazy cat lady. On many occasions, I have heard people say: “You wouldn’t understand unless you are a parent yourself.”

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Email Exchange

"Wouldn’t it be amazing if we filled our mailboxes with messages encouraging each other on our childless walk?  If you want to get a surprise email, contact me, putting “Email Exchange” in the subject line.  I’ll email your first name and email address to another Not So Mommy… friend who has also contacted me to participate in our email exchange". 

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Mother's day Letter to raise awareness

Many of us find these preceding weeks and final day full of conflicting emotions. We want to celebrate our relationship with our mother and show our appreciation however this can inflame our pain of being childless. Those who attend any place of worship may be faced with a mother's day service that has the potential to upset and alienate. 

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