Now is the beginning of our new tomorrow by Samina Khan

INTRO by Stephanie Phillips

Last year I wrote about why World Childless Week will always focus around the 16th September and expressed how I thought we should reclaim the day for us, for the childless not by choice comunity. I tried to point out on some positives that we could celebrate each year.

We can celebrate that we have found support.

We can celebrate that each year the pain is a little less.

We can celebrate that each year more of us will speak out.

We can celebrate that each year more people will hear us.

We can celebrate that we are worthy.

We can celebrate that we are not alone.

The following poem by Samina Khan extends and deepens on my thoughts from last year. It expands on how we can and should celebrate going forward because of our worth.

A poem about being a childless woman. A chance to speak out..

Now is the beginning of our new tomorrow....

 

Now is the time to deal with our sorrow

the pains and hurts of yesteryear

need to be acknowledged and seen without fear-

yes we've done many things which we'd prefer to forget

but even more damning those things we didn't,

which lead to regret- over the life that we thought was ours to claim and instead we live under persistent shame

 

How can I claim to be a woman and live on this earth

when I've never had the experience of giving birth?

When I'll never know the joys of being a mother

of joining with a man to create another?

Isn't this what life is all about

isn't this the meaning that removes all doubt?

Doubt about our worth, our value, our place

and without this aren't we just a walking disgrace?

 

Yes its hard to battle the cultural story

of how motherhood is the ultimate glory

it's hard to admit to the loneliness and shame

to not take it personally and be filled with self-blame

 

Yet I tell you this sisters like me

we need to speak out so that others can see

we're not broken women, to be hidden away

we've got so much to offer, so much to say-

We're defining a new way for women to be

we're at the cutting edge, creating a new history

 

Whilst its true that many of us never wanted this role

we craved normalcy, a family, that was our goal

and yet we must play with the cards we are dealt

and that includes making sure all of our feelings are felt

we must make room for our grief and our rage

otherwise we condemn ourselves to live inside a cage

of our very own making and being our own prison guard

it really doesn't need to be so hard

 

so will you join me in this invitation

to change our lives into a celebration

not of what might have been, but what is here right now

include it all and simply allow

the thought that you have a place to claim-

a place filled with possibilities with no space for blame

 

we may not be mothers in the accepted sense

but what we have to offer is truly immense

we are giving birth to a new way of being

where our pain and our shame open us to seeing

that grief and compassion exist side by side

go deep inside one and you'll find the other resides

 

so to my sisters I say let's stop playing small

let's tune deep inside and hear the call

of the world crying out for the wisdom we hold

we need to be fierce and wise, gentle and bold

 

so yes our new tomorrow begins right here today.

childless sisters join with me and let's claim our voice-

and finally let's have our say.

 

 

Samina Khan June 2018