It was my Birthday party. I chinked my glass and told the room I had an announcement to make.

I’ve spent many years researching my family history.

After the Euro 2020 football yesterday, my good friend who is Italian texted me ‘Gianni watched with us and she is so passionate about Italy… I am glad to pass this on.’

One morning this summer, I had the latest episode of The Full Stop Podcast playing in my ears as I was leaving the house.

One of the hardest things to deal with when we are childless is to come to terms with the fact that living children will not be our legacy. I’ve had twenty years to accept this, and largely consider myself successful.

We became Childless Not By Choice in 2019 after 6 years of trying to conceive (TTC) and IVF. It wasn’t the endless drugs, needles or scans that did it for us, it was the uncertainty, the emotional distress, the cycles of hope and despair.

I have just learned that legacies can come to you in the most unexpected and beautiful ways.

I didn’t know you.

I don’t remember seeing you.

But I walked past your house every day.

‘I have something for you’, she beams,

Leaving a legacy. What is leaving a legacy?

Do you have children they ask? My answer is No unfortunately.

My mother’s line of family ends with me.

What do I leave? And to whom do I leave it?

I am Clare Caroline, daughter of Susan Caroline, daughter of Sarah, daughter of Sarah, daughter of Sarah Jane, daughter of Margaret.

I have no children or special connection with any young people to give my heirlooms to.

As childless women the word legacy is a painful reminder of our lack of purpose, a lack of meaning or the feeling that we don’t matter as let’s face it, we feel that we don’t have anyone to leave anything behind for.

Others fretted about turning 30, 40.

Not me.

In fact, I’ve never understood all the fuss about any such birthdays.

I have given birth to many children

From my womb has come generations

For most of my life, this would have been a fairly straight forward question, but being childless has forced me to re-think so many aspects of my life.

It’s Mother’s Day again. My church is holding a Mother’s Day service.

My mum hands me the St. Christoper pendant my dad has worn since he was 20 years old. He turned 80 eleven days ago. He has been gone for three days now, dying suddenly at the kitchen sink, my mum by his side.

Sorry I didn’t leave any grandchildren for you to hold.

Sorry I didn’t leave your children any cousins to play with.

I’m a singer from London and I’m a childless woman.

My parents don’t have any photographs of them when they were children, and the earliest pictures I have seen of them date back to when they were in their 20’s.

After our failed embryo transfers and the decision to move forward as a childless couple, I felt the need to commemorate our experience and have a place of remembrance.

Just having children is a lazy legacy. Real legacies are invisible. Real legacies are about making a difference, on a tiny level or on a big one.

”Who would I save them for!?”, I said - and immediately felt a wave of anxiety filling me.

I am an auntie. It’s the thing that I am best at, which is somewhat ironic because it’s the one thing that I never had to do for myself. There was absolutely nothing I could do to make it happen.

Myself and my husband struggled through the difficult road of a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at the age of 35 for me…

I’ve been working on a watercolour and collage piece about an encounter with nature I had in my late 30s.

I always ask for a small amount of text to accompany anything that is purely visual or audio. I was about to email Sandra with such a request when I reread the message she sent with her submission. Stephanie Joy Phillips

I’ve always had a fascination with genealogy as the result of growing up far from grandparents, cousins and extended family.

Do not mistake the 'damage' for weakness or neglect, they are signs of resilience & being well loved.

My limb of the family tree ends with me. There will be no children or grandchildren along my limb. I will not be the reason why someone exists.

I came late to discovering the wonder of growing and sharing flowers…

Poetry will be my legacy

I am a 46 year-old married woman. My earliest memory of wanting to be a mother was when I was 12. To me, it was this automatic thing that would magically happen. It never occurred to me that it might not.

Wobble Warning: In this post, I talk about grandparents, children, friends, death, legacy, and more… Such topics have the potential to cause a wobble. Please, do not read if you are feeling vulnerable today.