I’m a singer from London and I’m a childless woman.
In my teens I was diagnosed with endometriosis and was told it was highly unlikely I’d conceive. My journey was one of surgeries, miscarriage, fibroids and a hysterectomy in my mid 40’s.
I learned to sing at 27, desperate to take my mind away from the fear of being childless, as it turned out, it was my saving grace…I gradually discovered a whole new life and world. At 32, I turned professional. I sang all genres but particularly Jazz and improvisational music.
Singing helped give me a new identity, not just because I was performing, that's not the most important part…..its the solid connection with my body and the channel of creativity it helped to open, I could at last, express myself and no one could take my voice from me, it was mine and mine alone.
As my health deteriorated in my late 30’s, it was by managing often constant physical and emotional pain, that I realised I was able to adapt my vocalisation to work with myself at a much deeper, more resonant level.
In my 30’s and 40’s I lived in India and Nepal for a decade, my experiences there, discovering energy, meditation and breath work began to click with all I had learned and experienced as a vocalist. I love chanting and ancient music and felt the power of chant with all it’s physical vibrational benefits could be adapted for people who really needed to help support themselves.
When the UK was put into a 2nd lockdown for dark, cold November last year. So many women in the childless community were feeling isolated, I felt we must chant, it brought us together weekly and we had 7 weeks of chanting with Gateway and women from over 10 countries attended. Then, on UK (m) Others' Day this year in March, 35 women chanted online, it was so very moving.
The vibrational power of breath and embodied sound, is proven to have beneficial effects for our vagus nerve, the nervous system, our organs, the brain and even at cellular level. Add to that, the release of our self expression, some good hormones and a great night's sleep, it's a practice for living..
I began singing to save myself. I never imagined it would bring me to this place. If I leave behind nothing else in this life, I want my knowledge and experience to have helped empower others to naturally use their voices to ease and support themselves.
In Childlessness we need that whole connection with our bodies, as well as self and communal support
My dream is to have us all chanting in a beautiful outside location with instruments playing, breathing deeply and filling ourselves with powerful strengthening energy.
You can join Helen in a chant circle today, Wednesday 15th at 12pm BST and Saturday 18th at 7pm BST