My parents don’t have any photographs of them when they were children, and the earliest pictures I have seen of them date back to when they were in their 20’s. I remember asking my mother the question ‘Is that you when you were young?!’when I first saw a photograph of her, dating from the 1960’s.
I always thought I would have a similar experience with my children, looking at my old photographs, laughing and joking, and sharing memories of my life. Being witnessed and remembered. That is why the thought of not having anyone to pass on family photographs to feels like the most painful thing for me, out of all my belongings. Broader high-level assets such as money and property I feel I can deal with on a more practical, non-emotional level – although this could be wishful thinking!
Photographs for me represent the stories of my family’s life (pictured – a collection of family photographs in my home).Their journeys, the struggles, the highs and the lows. Since I don’t have any nieces and nephews either, my family’s branch ends with my siblings and me, and I feel the responsibility of ensuring my parent’s and my family’s legacy lives on in some way. I wish there was some permanent repository, an archive in which we can store and share our stories and memories. Paradoxically, I also realise that people don’t often remember ancestors from more than a couple of generations back, unless one has done something remarkable, so it is a strange contradiction that I wrangle with.
To be completely honest I have not found any resolution for this yet, but I have given some thought over what I can do now though. For example, sorting out practical financial matters. What I have realised most acutely is that I can focus on my living legacy, the impact I make on people’s lives in the world now, by the way I am being and interacting with others. And this does not need to be any magnificent or grand. It can simply be smiling at a passer-by or saying ‘hello’. I wonder if this is more valuable to humanity than the legacy we leave when we pass on. I am trying to live more intentionally and in alignment with ‘me’ right now in this moment. By living like that, I may find clarity regarding my enduring legacy.
