Professor Cristina Archetti is an author and about to publish a book ‘Childlessness in the Age of Communication: Deconstructing Silence’ (Routledge, 2020).
Read moreRise Up like our Rising Seas
Rise up and make a mindful plan B.
Read more“Other Ways/Andre Veier”: From the grief of a “life never imagined” to founding the first Norwegian organization for the permanently childless
I am guest speaker at a “Childless Day” event organized by a Swedish association for the involuntarily childless in Stockholm. I have been asked to talk about my experience. ‘But what shall I say?’ I remember asking, incredulous at the invitation I had just received. ‘Just tell your story,’ said Linda Malm with her eternally smiling voice.
Read morePath to Acceptance
And there is so much silence, the silence is deafening and makes me feel claustrophobic.
Read moreA Beautiful Life
While talking with my colleague the topic of grief came up. She mentioned how a mutual acquaintance once said something to the effect of, “one grief story is one grief story.” In other words, no two are alike. I agree, but it also highlights the loneliness of grief. No one, anywhere, can understand exactly what I’m going through. Grief is a lonely road.
Read morePeace beyond all understanding
Peace beyond all understanding
As time goes by, I can barely remember where and when exactly it all began…but I know the ending now.
The start of a year was always challenging…everyone posting their child’s “first day of school” photos, happy families, grade 1’s, proud parents. The radio and news would be flooded with photos and posts and reports of children starting their school year, etc etc.
Usually it would hurt like hell… but not anymore. I saw this photo an infertile friend shared on Facebook and I just couldn’t stop laughing! That was sooo us and for the first time i could openly laugh about it and not cry.
It’s then I realised; we survived our childlessness! We are more than that, we are enough, life, love, just being the two of us in this current moment, is enough.
We are content, we are happy, Jesus is enough, what He has planned for us, His Will, trusting Him, is enough.
Life with Jesus is pretty amazing and once Jesus opens the eyes of your heart to see beyond the heart-ache, you too will be filled with a peace that goes beyond all understanding.
Proudly overcoming the obstacles
My sisters had a bond and I didn’t fit in. I was told a few times “You don’t know, you’re not a mom”.
Read moreMaking the choice to step forward
Making the choice to begin to accept being childless not by choice is no easy task, but it IS within our power to make that choice.
Read moreAccept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what will be
There was a time when asked if I had children I would get flustered and it wouldn’t matter who was asking the question I’d feel obligated to give them an explanation. Because like so many women I am childless through circumstance.
Read moreDear Baby by Samantha Cooke
The last time I wrote to you it felt like a betrayal. I told you I loved you. That I would never stop loving you. But I needed to stop carrying you with me.
Read moreFinding Acceptance and embracing Plan B
I’m going to start with an apology. Last year in the blog I wrote for WCW I gave the impression that, having worked through my grief, my life was perfect.
Well I wasn’t quite telling the truth.
Read moreAcceptance
I had my third and last failed IVF treatment at the age of 39. It was hell. I gave everyone at work the impression that I was fine (because I am the one who looks after everyone else), but inside I was falling apart. The first round of IVF had led to hope then miscarriage; the second and third totally unresponsive. I was infertile.
Read moreChoices
My 35 years has included some intense joys, and some intense heartaches. Two years ago, I began to grieve for the child I wanted and never had, and this year, I am also grieving the loss of my husband, who died 5 months ago. Even as hurt as I feel, I believe with all my heart that in the future, I will be laughing and enjoying my life again. I was thinking, what if my future happy self could write an encouraging letter to my current grieving self? I love to write, so I figured I might as well let the words flow out.
Read moreA future family...
I am at a point in my life where I am looking ahead to a life without a 'future family' of my own. I have no choice but to accept this; and like those who face unavoidable and inescapable challenges in life, I'm finding my way toward establishing an alternative sense of purpose and belonging.
Read moreThe Roller Coaster Ride
When I was a kid, it seemed that I had to wait forever to be tall enough to go on the rollercoaster ride at our local amusement park.
Read moreSociety Lacks Sufficient Words, Imagery to Capture Our Superblooms
I think I have an answer to what’s behind the dearth of understanding about those of us who are not parents. It often comes down to semantics and lack of imagination.
Read moreHealing Through Childlessness
I grew up in a big family where having kids was a given. My dad is the youngest of eleven; I am the second of five girls. Yes, the assumption was that having kids was part of life.
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