Peace beyond all understanding

Peace beyond all understanding

As time goes by, I can barely remember where and when exactly it all began…but I know the ending now.

The start of a year was always challenging…everyone posting their child’s “first day of school” photos, happy families, grade 1’s, proud parents. The radio and news would be flooded with photos and posts and reports of children starting their school year, etc etc.

Usually it would hurt like hell… but not anymore. I saw this photo an infertile friend shared on Facebook and I just couldn’t stop laughing! That was sooo us and for the first time i could openly laugh about it and not cry.

It’s then I realised; we survived our childlessness! We are more than that, we are enough, life, love, just being the two of us in this current moment, is enough.

We are content, we are happy, Jesus is enough, what He has planned for us, His Will, trusting Him, is enough.

Life with Jesus is pretty amazing and once Jesus opens the eyes of your heart to see beyond the heart-ache, you too will be filled with a peace that goes beyond all understanding.

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Choices

My 35 years has included some intense joys, and some intense heartaches. Two years ago, I began to grieve for the child I wanted and never had, and this year, I am also grieving the loss of my husband, who died 5 months ago. Even as hurt as I feel, I believe with all my heart that in the future, I will be laughing and enjoying my life again. I was thinking, what if my future happy self could write an encouraging letter to my current grieving self? I love to write, so I figured I might as well let the words flow out.

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A future family...

I am at a point in my life where I am looking ahead to a life without a 'future family' of my own. I have no choice but to accept this; and like those who face unavoidable and inescapable challenges in life, I'm finding my way toward establishing an alternative sense of purpose and belonging.

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