Dear Jaicie

Dear Jaicie,

You would be about 32 years old now if I had been blessed.  You would be 5’8”, light brown hair, blue eyes.  I see you as being very independent and happy.  You found the right man, and you’re about to have your own children.  (And you will have them.  And I will be a grandmother.)

I love you so much.  I’m so sorry that I couldn’t bring you in to this world.  I wish I had pictures of you, when you were born, your “first” everything, your first day at grammar, middle, high school and college, your graduation from all, your first apartment, your successful career, your world traveling, your engagement and wedding pictures…

Life without you has been empty.  I never got to hold you, rock you, protect you, teach you, be proud of you.  I never got to share our stories.  I never got to name you.

I never got to grieve.

I’ll miss you until the day I die.

All my love!!