On Wednesday 13th we asked our supporters to write letters to the reason that the person is childless. Below are a selection that were published on that day.
Within these letters are a mixture of emotions, some incredibly raw, so please accept every word as being an honest expression from that person’s heart. To express your emotions by physically writing them down can help in the healing process.
Please be aware that some these letter contain descriptions of loss, grief, abuse and swearing.
I find it hard to describe the amount of anger and sadness I feel when I think about you. When I was younger I had no idea about how destructive you would be to mine and my husband's life.
I wanted to take this moment to thank you for taking away from me the one most important thing to me - the chance for me to become a mother, . . . to be able to bring a life into this world, . . . to be able to give my child the love, nurturing and support that I know are there inside of me, . . . to be proud that the little person I was watching develop was a part of me, and of my husband.
EFF YOU. You royally screwed me over. But unlike many screws, it didn't result in a baby. Lucky me? No "morning after pill" needed? Yay??? I SUFFER from YOU, Endometriosis, day in and out. I've had 15 surgeries so far INCLUDING a full hysterectomy, in a whopping 4 year span, and NONE of them have "cured" me...not even for a moment's grace.
Read this letter to Endometriosis here (warning this contain explicit language)
In My 20’s my doctors told my Cerebral Palsy (cp)might limit my opportunities to give birth I could get pregnant but doctors were afraid the act of giving birth might further disable me or my child.
Dear Infertility and cancer
I don’t know what to call you.... Dream catcher? Dream destroyer? Soul eater?
The pain you have caused me is unbearable, I can feel how life gets harder and harder with every empty breath I take.
Read this letter to infertility here (warning that this contains references to suicide)
Dear unexplained infertility
Dear unexplained infertility,
Where do I start, how about WHY, what did I ever do wrong, I had a shit childhood was that not enough of a shitty life but then to do this, you knew I always wanted to be a mum, to give a child the life I never had.
How is it fair?
I know I should feel lucky you showed me signs early enough for me to get tested but I don't understand why, you stole my dream and I will never forgive you or my body for it, also why unexplained that’s just cruel to not have a reason behind it.
I hate you infertility, thanks for ruining me
Where the hell were you hiding when our family plans were discussed? Why did you make your appearance in the most devastating way possible? You came out of nowhere and made your presence known. It ripped my heart to smithereens looking up at that ultrasound screen. You see… I had a small, silly hope in my soul that miscarriage number three was partially mistaken.
We both wanted children, and we wanted them soon. I was 26 but felt ready for motherhood. You were 7 years older, keen not to be an ‘old dad’, so we planned to start trying as soon as we got married. Our wedding was the whole shebang. White dress, church bells, bridesmaids, photographs, cake and a lovely reception with all of our friends and family. I was so excited to start our life together.
Read this letter to an abusive husband here (this contains sensitive material)