Steph Penny
‘Motherhood is the greatest gift,’
You say,
Piercing me
From where you sit on stage,
And I recoil
In the front row
Of the congregation.
Can you see me?
You must be able to see me.
I’m three metres away from you.
I was on that stage too,
Ten minutes before you,
Singing God’s praises.
Am I invisible?
Can you see me?
I knew today was Mother’s Day.
I didn’t want to come. But I was assured
That your interview
Would have nothing to do with motherhood,
Nothing to do with Mother’s Day.
I should have known better.
I assumed you knew
There were childless people like me
In the church.
Am I invisible?
Can you see me?
Perhaps you have forgotten
I exist.
Perhaps that is why I feel
Ambushed
In the place that is supposed to be
Safe
In the one place that is supposed to be
Home.
Motherhood is the greatest gift,
So you say.
Oh,
I wish I knew how to respond to that.
I wish I had the words.
I feel punctured,
Disgraced,
Skinned alive,
Turned inside out,
Keelhauled,
Skewered,
Ambushed.
Can you see me?
I need you to see me.
I am not invisible.
I will not be ignored.
My life, my childless life,
Matters.
See me.
