Perhaps

---

Pauline

---

Perhaps it is the one,

The one who said,

"It's not fair,

You get all this space,

Time to grieve and time to learn.

But others go through tough times too,

You cannot get an advantage,

Just because of childlessness,

It's not fair."

Perhaps it is the one,

The one who asked,

"Do you have children?"

Perhaps it is the one,

The one who suffers,

"She is having a hard time,

It makes her very sad,

Your childlessness has a big impact,

So, bear with her in this time,

Do not expect too much,

From her in this time,

She is having a hard time."

Perhaps it is the one,

The one who said,

"Don't give up hope."

The one says,

"it's not fair"

And my inner voice whispers,

"What makes you more deserving than others?"

The one asks,

"Do you have children?"

And my inner voice whispers,

"Look at the failure you've become"

The one suffers,

"She is having a hard time"

And my inner voice whispers,

"Look at the commotion you've created"

The one says,

"Don't give up hope"

And my inner voice whispers,

"You gave up too early, did you even want it?"

Perhaps it is me, 

The one who gives,

Self-doubt the authority,

Her arrows are aimed within,

The jabbing makes me fragile,

Allowing me to break the brittle connections,

Inside me that make me complete,

Fracturing myself,

It is me.

It is me,

The one who grows,

Finding all the versions of myself,

Connecting to each element,

Honouring and celebrating the whole,

The soft, curious, sensitive and creative,

The sad, joyful, anxious and heated,

The resilient, flexible and motivated,

The undiscovered.