I started my infertility Journey at 26 after being diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Syndrome (early menopause) and adoption didn’t work out with the home study process being to much for me. We separated 7 years later and divorced two years after wards.
Here I am in my 30’s having to start over and with infertile issues. I’ve had relationships through the years but none have made to marriage.
So now I’m my 50’s still single and no family of my own. I’ve had some fun solo adventures but the last 5 years or so I’ve slowly given up on activities I used to do solo. Camping, day trips, amusement/ water parks, community activities, eating in a full service restaurant on the weekends, going to the movies, church activities. Ocean city Md is two hours from me and has become a quick day trip during the summer instead of staying in a hotel and concerts ( with the exception of Brooks and Dunn ). I’ve become more aware to being alone and everyone else is in couples or families.
There is no one there to make you feel special on certain days / holidays. I often feel alone and left out. I’ve heard join a singles group, I’ve tried but unfortunately all they did was talk about kids /grandkids or the house or maybe vacation home they bought and all I do is rent a room. I just don’t fit in into these groups . Holidays are difficult because I don’t have any traditions of my own, except Christmas, I do join my parents, sisters , nieces and nephew etc … but any other holiday I’m always looking for someone to be with.
My current living situation I’m living with two other childless females (one by choice and the other by circumstances) at least we understand each other but we all have different schedules, making it difficult for a day trip or other adventures. Hopefully living here things will change a little and I do have my furbaby kitty Aerie and she offers me some emotional support.
My birthday coming up and I’m working, treat yourself is what I hear but the problem is I’m always treating myself and so when a birthday / holiday comes up it doesn’t feel special.
Having my own family was something I dreamed of since I was very little and feel like I’m missing out on so much, not being able to experience this in life. Hopefully one day I’ll have my own family even it’s a significant other and fur babies .
Michelle Simcox
