The First Conversation

What’s going on within my body

is so wrong, I’m built so shoddily.

No, you’re not.

If I’m not, then tell me

where’s the tiny heartbeat?

Well, um.

Exactly. You don’t have an answer, see.

So, when you wonder why I cry at night,

remember this, and freeze.

But baby, maybe…

Stop, you don’t get to babe me.

God didn’t build me with that blessing innately,

now step to the disposal and abort that word, please.

Anything you say, my love,

anything you need.

But I do believe

that we can work this out, you see.

Now, I say this with caution,

I hear there are other options.

And I’ve been saving all the pennies,

a couple more and there’s adoption.

Another wish, another drift,

another child is lying in the mist.

I’m so tired of being let down,

I’m just tired of the tricks.

Can you be ok with this,

just us, and a burning candlestick?

Because this flame is the last one

that I own, I admit.

I surely can, I surely am.

I’m purely trying to understand.

I’m sorry that I poorly tried

to light our burning wick.

What we have is lovely,

and I don’t need a little me.

But you, my wife,

are something dear

that I know that I can’t miss.

Nick Gaffney