I would not be the kind, caring, compassionate, loving, aware and supportive wife, daughter or friend that I am today had I not been childless.
Read moreI Live With A Secret
I live with a secret, that I don’t like to tell
The questioning hurts and I don’t always cope that well.
Read moreDown in the mud: Caregiving as a childless adult
Life rarely looks like what I expected.
For example, I now find myself a caregiver in my sixties without (grand) children, a situation I did not anticipate.
Read moreThe Unfinished Home
Childlessness without choice
is a pain, like many other pains,
that is difficult to put into words.
Read moreThe Life That Remains
I used to believe that grief had an ending.
Read moreSomeone Else
What does moving forward mean? For a long time, I was asking myself that and I didn’t know an answer.
Read moreExpecting
Decades ago, I lost four little lives…tried to keep going, same old same old, get “over it”, move on… Fast forward three decades and baby showers are still a sticking point.
Read moreDear A
Dear A, This is my second letter, this one written with a different purpose than the first, but in the same vein, the same branch; it’s about healing.
Read moreShe Shines
She Shines
She shines so bright,
Like the moon when it is full,
or the sparkles of sunlight on the sea.
Read moreMy difficult healing journey - from the bottom of my heart
Can you remind yourself of the feeling that you had, when you were informed of your pregnancy? ‘, the podcast host asked during my interview.
Read moreOther Ways
I moved to Bournemouth this year as a way to find a different way to have a family.
Read moreMy Heart, Scarred
I woke up this morning to the sweetness of my tea, a comfort in a cup.
Read moreFor a Few Minutes
The unchosen path
I knew in July of this year that my life had changed for ever. It was when I realized my journey to become a mum had finally come to an end.
Read morewe were the flower all along
I married at 22 years of age. Sixteen years later, after surviving several failed IVF attempts, the dream finally collapsed.
Read moreThe Cha Cha Cha of Grief
They say, *"Do your grief work."*
They say, *"Sit with your grief."*
They say, *"It will get better."*
More than what I'm not
Our spare room
Healing and New Opportunities
Childless, Neurodivergent, And Finally Understanding Myself
For a long time, I thought my life would follow a fairly familiar pattern.
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