Childless. Through The Years.


Michelle


If I were to write this then.

It would be full of sorrow, hurt, fear, regret, shock, confusion, longing,

heartache, anger, blame, low self worth, trepidation, isolation

But you know my dear….

I write it now with hope, self worth, love, self care, interest, affability,

strength, courage, growth….….

I never imagined I would work on myself so well. That there would be hope

at the end of this tunnel of hell.

Times can be tough.

I think those times will always be there.

But now I have me, to provide true love, understand and care.

The person that I am, got so lost through it all.

The tough times, I know, will always come and call.

But little by little, step by step….

I find myself

being able to breathe.

Although, all I remember, was me, blocking my own way to grieve.

Block it out, keep moving forward, your strong was my inner speech.

Convincing myself to never deal with the grief.

I didn’t know this is what I needed to do…..

To grieve a dream that never came true.

Did I have a right? Was this for me to do?

Yes, is the answer! This is the key.

To slowly open up and let me be me.

If there is one piece of advice I would give to you.

It would be to grant yourself the permission,

to do what you have to do.

Love and care for yourself, like you do for others.

The road can feel long, when it’s so far back you just wanted to be a mother.

It’s you who can catch you when you fall.

After all it’s you who knows you best of all.

Hold yourself in the best regard.

You will learn your strength for when things get hard.

Best wishes dear sister who I already feel the connect.

My deepest, sincerest, best wishes

Go, pass yours on to the next xxx

Photo by Andraz Lazic on Unsplash