I never thought that I would be sat here writing this, but I am happy. I have a great home, I have a job I love, I have a loving husband, I have a gorgeous soft dog, I have amazing friends, I have (lots of) interests. And, I’m childless not by choice.
It has taken a considerable amount of time to reach this pivotal changing point in my life.
My fertility journey started late 2012, fertility tests late 2013 with confirmed poor ovarian reserve in 2014. Two rounds of unsuccessful ICSI/IVF later, feeling battered from the drugs, my husband and I reflected on our circumstances and decided our next move. We considered adoption, but decided it was not for us.
Whilst I had been open from the start about my fertility journey, once I had changed my job, I became more conscious of my CNBC status. I was unsure about how peers would perceive me and potentially how they would react to my CNBC status. The obvious, ‘why don’t you just adopt’ was a common theme along with the trying to fix my ‘problem’. It was getting repetitive and quite frankly, tiresome. I still have the occasional wobble, but I soon realise what I am grateful for and this calms me.
Eventually I realised that as long as I’m happy with myself, then I’m not bothered what other people think of me. This was a huge defining moment in my life. I am happy with my life and who I am.
I have become quite vocal about inclusion and diversity in the workplace, especially the acknowledgement of CNBC and supporting them in the workplace. My voice is being heard. Being an advocate for others in similar circumstances brings reassurances that at some point we will not be overlooked, and our needs will be taken into consideration.
Maintaining a work life balance has also been at the forefront of ensuring I live a life of happiness. Parkrun has become a big part of my life, running on a Saturday and then volunteering at junior parkrun on Sunday means that I get my ‘kid fix’ for the week. Outdoor swimming also provides the all-important serotonin hit which keeps me going.
Life is pretty good.
Vicky
Photo by Silas Baisch on Unsplash