S.A.M.

I want to acknowledge all of the childless women who fight the painful images and reminders of what they’ll never have.

I sit in church every Sunday and fight to focus on other things besides the pregnant women, families, babies babbling or crying, strollers and baby seats. I reluctantly go to work as a teacher, knowing I’ll be taking care of other people’s children and I’ll never have my own.

I fight to have meaning and joy in life.

I fight against the awkwardness of being unmarried and having no kids and being an introvert. I fight against the negative feelings that tell me to give up. I fight to fit in, while knowing I’m left out. I fight to pretend I’m normal and not struggling.

The pain is excruciating, but yet I’m still here to fight another day.