It was March when I left the hospital after a tumour removal and started the 5-year wait to be declared cancer-free.
Read moreRock of Grief
Sharp, spikey, painful to touch
Difficult to lift, to hold, to carry
Yet I carry it everywhere I go.
Read moreThis wasn't the Plan
I See Red
Dear Little Ones
We were told we could have it all. We did everything right.
Read moreTo My Daughter, Isabella, Who Never Existed
I still wonder who you might have been—
a laugh echoing through quiet rooms,
tiny shoes by the front door,
finger-painted suns hanging crooked on the fridge.
Read moreI Never Heard You Say Mom
Lost
A story with no happy ending
I've always been told how good I am with children
Read moreLullaby
I will sing you a lullaby.
And I will love you till the day I die.
Colortron
This is an artwork I created while vacating my second art studio.
Read moreRuminating
You have no home in my belly, though I often rest my hands there,
Willing you to take up space within that hollow bowl of my pelvis.
Read moreSterile
My Alex
My Alex, In the blink of an eye, I was 40. It was never the plan to be single and childfree at that age. But I was. I made an appointment for IVF and decided to go for it. Alone.
Read moreWho Will Hold Me?
There is a Fear I don't say out loud very often.
Read moreInfertility dreams
I wrote this in 2019. At the time my husband and I were going through fertility treatments.
Read moreLost Motherhood
One hard thing about infertility is the feeling of being left behind-over, and over again.
Read moreThe childless girlfriend/stepmom
The Childless Girlfriend/stepmom: An Essay on the experience of a 40 something dating a single dad
Read moreA dream that didn't come true
I never questioned whether I wanted to become a mother. I always knew I did. From a young age I assumed I would get the opportunity.
Read moreA room with a (distant) view
Like a sunrise viewed through hazy mist,
Life real, yet so opaque.