Filtering by: World Childless Week
When we go through something - and childless grief is a big something - we learn about ourselves in ways we might not otherwise. Join us to learn more about the gifts this challenging journey can bring.
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How do you discover and identify your story when the traditional one no longer applies? Learn how this difficult issue of identifying a new story for your life has been negotiated in a world still very challenging for women.
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We don’t need a big Plan B, C or D; we don’t need any plans at all. All we need is the courage to make small changes, the time to notice the positive differences and the acceptance that moving forwards can also include stopping points, roundabouts and u-turns. It doesn’t matter how we get to the final destination, or how long it takes. We just need to love ourselves at each point and celebrate each milestone. How have you moved forwards?
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Someone once said to me, “A peacock is most vulnerable when it shows its beauty.” It made me think of the beauty we all hold within us that can be diminished and feel tainted by the pronatalism surrounding us every day. We need to speak up and speak out until every childless person feels equal and confident to shine whilst showing their vulnerability. Today, let’s share and celebrate, why we are worthy and beautiful.
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Comments referring to religion easily fall off the tongues of strangers, friends and family without consideration of who they are addressing or how their comments may be received. Have you been upset, shocked or angered by the ignorance and cruelty of a religious based comment and how did you deal with the conversation? Why do you feel remarks touching on religion are inappropriate?
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Have you been bombarded with mum talk during a Zoom chat, swamped with pregnancy announcements in emails, trapped in a maternity leave office party, expected to work late, denied flexi-time, fallen to the bottom of the list for holidays or just felt embarrassed to approach your line manager or personnel department because you are childless? Perhaps you’ve spoken out and instigated changes or helped to create inclusive policies? Have you run to the loo for sanity and to shed a few tears or decided enough is enough and spoken out for change? Let’s talk about the problems we face and what we can do to create positive changes in the workplace.
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Do you wish you could send your younger self the strength, confidence and love to face the future you’ve already lived? Let them know they are worthy and perfect just as they are, no matter what decisions they make and what life throws at them? Write that letter and share with them everything you can to help them realise how important they are, how much they matter and what positives they bring to the world and those around them. A letter to release the negatives and forgive the self imposed judgements.
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You may have met someone who promised you everything and changed their mind, leaving you walking away from the relationship. Perhaps you held onto the dreams of meeting your perfect partner and they never appeared. Maybe you met your match and circumstances mean they are no longer in your life? How has being single as well as being childless affected you?
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Whilst we all share the same grief of childlessness, we each have a different story to tell of how we arrived here: the struggles to conceive, the sadness of not meeting a partner, the tough choices that broke our hearts, the circumstances that prevented and blocked our chance to be a parent. The confusion of emotions that left us grieving, the feelings of being misunderstood that made us withdraw from the world. This is your opportunity to share your story.
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When did you know you’d started to move forwards?
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Do you feel worthy, or has society and the increase of pronatalism made you feel unworthy?
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It’s time to tell the truth about why this comment hurts so much.
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What is your childless story? Are there aspects you have hidden because that is supposedly “what men do”?
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Why does the pain of not being able to pass something on hurt so much?
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Self love and self hate embrace all parts of our identity and it’s time to explore them.
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No matter what anyone has said to you (including your own inner critic) your story is important.
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