How many IVF success stories have you heard? About a million, right? Or that’s what it can feel like. I’ve lost count how many ‘miracle baby’ posts I’ve seen on social media in the last ten years, but I can count on one hand (as there are so few) how many included stories like mine – those without a baby after IVF.
Read moreSome Reflections on Being ‘Other’
Much of my working life, as well as my personal life, has been spent reflecting on what it is like to be other than mother.
Read moreLiving with childlessness: somedays I surf a tsunami, somedays I drown in a puddle
I have a love-hate relationship with the merry month of May. Here in Australia, the autumn leaves are littering the street, and the days are getting shorter, a sure sign that winter is not far away. It is also Mother’s Day and the month I was pregnant oh so many years ago.
Read moreA Reason, A Season, Or A Lifetime
Ever heard the phase “A reason, a season, a lifetime”. When we find friends within the childless community they can become buoys keeping us afloat in turbulent seas.
Read moreMoving at the speed of trust as I age without children
One of the most anxiety-provoking aspects of ageing without children can be worrying about who will be there for us when we’re old, and potentially vulnerable.
Read moreBoundaries - Because I'm Worth It
A few weeks ago I did a meditation with Bindi Shah where she explored boundaries and the complications, but also the release, setting them in place can cause.
Read moreEvery Day Is An Opportunity To Smile
’73 – I was born. Seven, three – 7th March 2006 – the day I met Bindi. Coincidence? Fate? Universal admin team working overtime? I mean… come on! She was born one day before me. That’s not just close. That’s crazy close!
Read moreEndometriosis and Childlessness
March is Endometriosis Awareness Month — and my thoughts are with the women, their bodies, the hurts, and the stories that have been ignored or minimised for too long.
Read moreSelf-Love And Childlessness
One of the most challenging issues for childless not by choice people, especially women, is self-love.
Read moreOut Of The Darkness And Into The Light
We, the childless not by choice, know only too well how it goes: the grief in all its forms, the regret, the anger and the hurt at being so misunderstood.
Read moreNew Year Musings
The end of one year and beginning of the next can raise the questions of what just passed and what will I face going forwards. People mention achievements, resolutions, plans and dreams.
Read moreRadical Pause
Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? These words by Mary Oliver, from her poem The Summer Day, have surely called to many a childless woman — and man. What is it you plan to do with the life without the children you dreamed of?
Read moreEight Years Later: What I’ve Learned About Childless Holidays
This month marks eight years since my hysterectomy - the moment I knew motherhood wasn’t in the cards for me. I had my surgery on December 21, which also happens to be the winter solstice, the longest night of the year.
Read moreFrom Grinch to Ms Claus: reclaiming Xmas when you are childless not by choice
“I must stop this Christmas from coming….but how?” –a classic line from the movie How the Grinch stole Christmas and for a long time, the perfect articulation of my relationship with the festive season.
Read moreThe Missing Piece
My journey to healing started seven years ago, one year after my marriage ended and I was told by the IVF consultant that it was very unlikely that I would ever become a parent.
Read moreOn turning 50, curious encounters and embracing life
I had imagined that reaching 50 years of age would be a “turning point.” I was not sure, though, what it would mean—and where I would “turn” to?
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