Dear Me

You are twenty-nine

I am fifty-three

The route I took to reach here

Proved a painful ride for me

 

I’m writing you this poem

So that you may avoid

The trap that I fell into

A deep and gaping void

 

That man that you spend time with

At the moment just a friend

Will soon become your partner

And your family tree will end

 

He doesn’t want to have kids

And you so desperately do

He’ll break the news when you tell him

You’d like a child by thirty-two

 

If you don’t walk away then

You won’t be able to leave

I wish I could explain the tricks

That he’ll have up his sleeve

 

He’ll  keep you there beside him

And the years will slowly pass

As your friends become parents

You’ll feel your life’s a farce

 

There’ll come a time down the line

When you’ll attempt to leave

But he’ll talk you out of it

And for your unlived life you’ll grieve

 

You’ll grieve for those you would have met

On the journey of motherhood

For the strengthened bond with your mum

Who’d help out in every way she could

 

Every month you’ll feel another loss

At the sign of a period’s start

Wasted eggs, for he won’t spill his beans

He’ll have that down to a fine art

 

Then at forty you’ll rejoice

A missed period after a mishap

But his rage will drown out your voice

And he’ll treat you like you’re crap

 

Until three weeks later

When your period finally starts

Then he’ll go from hater

To mender of broken hearts

 

You’ll go back to college

Divert your thoughts and retrain

But expanding your knowledge

Won’t wipe torment from your brain

 

You’ll be beset by illness

From the conflict you feel within

You won’t feel true stillness

Won’t be comfortable in your skin

 

If you choose to stay for the ride

Then at fifty-three you’ll be free

A separation, finally untied

But only because he’ll agree

 

He’ll be tired of you at last

Fearing your resentment in old age

A member of life’s childless cast

You’ve escaped, but not unscathed

 

Better not to waste your life

Go now, say you can’t be friends

If he asks why, then tell him

Your future self knows how this ends

 

Anonymous