My husband and I struggled to have children of our own following my husband’s cancer treatment, we tried IVF twice through the NHS with donor sperm. I also needed an operation to clear endometriosis and ovarian cysts. It wasn't a nice experience from start to finish.
The recovery following the operation was awful, my doctor forgot about me and I didn’t have a follow up appointment. I had infections and ended up being admitted to another hospital for treatment! The Hospital were not supportive and we felt like a number rather than people! After two rounds of IVF we decided with the help of a counsellor enough was enough.
We were both spent and shells of our former selves. I spend the next two years struggling with mental health, a deep sense of loss and sadness constantly and a complete lack of confidence. I decided I needed help and went to speak to a counsellor and it was the best decision I made.
She helped me accept my situation and move forward in tiny steps when I felt ready. I acknowledged my feelings and felt more like me over time. It did take time and my husband dealt with things in his own way, but he said as he saw me getting better, he felt better, he just wanted his wife back.
Following the counselling, I still felt I wasn’t coping with loss and grief as we lost my mother in law and I was ignoring my grief to support my husband and his family, this wasn’t healthy at all.
I decided to try CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). I was nervous at first as I thought this was for people with severe mental illnesses. But it was brilliant! I like to have something to work with and I got tasks to do, challenges if I felt ready, for example, take a risk, go to an exercise class alone! Building up my confidence slowly.
I now use my new found skills and knowledge whenever I struggle and it works every time!
Seeking therapy was the best decision and not something to be ashamed of or scared of. Both my counsellor and CBT therapist were so caring, listened to my every word and worked with me at my pace.
I now feel happier, more like myself, but wiser, more open minded and healthier in my mind.
Leah from North East, UK