Walking in nature, taking one step after the other.
Watching nature unfold in the finest ways.
Feeling small, feeling good, feeling happy - looking at the canyon.
I take steps - I move forward.
I do not know where my steps will lead me.
Nor workwise or other.
That does confuse me. It frustrates me. It really does.
I thought I would find another path. I thought I had found it.
But I have lost my way. Or I lost my way for a while
I am not a mother. And I lost the hearing on one ear, totally, suddenly.
It scared me.
My path of being with others, enjoying time with others.
My path of speaking up, getting people together. Being an active voice.
This path proved difficult. I started to withdraw myself.
I lost my energy. I lost my passion.
It felt like a huge step backwards.
Another disenfranchised grief.
Life goes on.
The sun shines. People laugh. I laugh. I go for walks.
I have more energy again. It feels better.
A few more steps forward. After one or two steps backwards.
I still do not know where the steps will lead me.
I still have my worries. I still get very frustrated.
I still have not done many of the things I really thought I would do and wanted to.
But I am here. I take one step at a time.
I enjoy the wind and the sun.
I enjoy listening and understanding.
I enjoy being with others again.
Sometimes.
I learn in new ways how it is to be a minority.
Not a mother ….
Deaf on one ear …
I find my way. Not a clear path.
I find calmness. Not all the time.
But sometimes.
It is life. It is my life.
I feel it. It feels good. Sometimes.
I take one little step more.
Cecilia Rebild
