The treasure within me - being happy alone without a family
Hello, I am 43, live in Aachen, Germany, I am single and childless not by choice as I didn't find the "right" partner for me and father for children. My biggest dream was to have a family with my own children. For many years I was waiting for happiness and living the "purpose of life" (= family) in the future. Last year - after a very exhausting relationship - my energy to search for a "fitting" partner was "empty" and I decided to be happy without a family! Life happens NOW - and being happy as well! I decided to enjoy my life NOW - independent of my environment. I realised that I am the only person that can make me happy - no partner or children can do that!
I organised an online-congress about that topic, dealing with my goodbye of being mother, did "research" what the reason behind my partner- and child-wish really was (to fulfil that in other ways) and now I feel so much better! The whole process of saying "goodbye" and parallel organising my congress was 11 months. I started dealing with all my personal themes 19 years ago when I had Neurodermitis and later asked me "why do I not find a fitting long-term partner?" So - the process of being lucky did not happen overnight ;) And being lucky is not an all time status - my life still has ups and downs - but the downs are not so deep and long anymore. And I know that they will not last forever as I thought in former times.
I still would love to have a fulfilling partnership, but I am not searching for it anymore. I take my life as it is, with all my feelings and emotions - the nice and the ugly - and take self-responsibility for all that feelings. I really feel all that - and "welcome" also the unwanted feelings - I don't supress them anymore. I love to network with other childless people - as it gave me so much power in the process of saying goodbye to be a mother - to see "I am not alone" - and our society has a wrong image of the ideal family - especially before christmas. To have a family is no guarantee of being lucky! Therefore I just have to look around me. But - dealing with me - my feelings/emotions and my needs - taking self-responsibility for all of them - is a guarantee for luck <3 It is a choice/decision to be lucky!
Photo of Carola by Winfried Kock