Unprepared, guard down, familiar social space, low ebb after long day

I’d stopped. The life train kept going, my limp body in tow.

Healing eluded its own arrival

Landed, cues missed, unprepared.

Kids invaded our social space

Screams, goats, cows, wagons of delight

Chatting with familiar faces

The uber mummies expanded, filled the spaces

You know the ones,

Searching phones for kids stuff mid convo with you

Avoided then wandered outside

The fire, one familiar face, one new

She turned exhausted

I was beyond her conceptual reach

“Do you have children?”

The question dreaded by my kind

Rarely asked, not freshly practiced

“No” and left it at that

“Oh aren’t you lucky!”

I sighed. The conversation died.

12 children, lost, ignored

You could get there

A surface dweller

Cast her line deep

Profound sadness

Reeled in

Marvelled

Reaching midlife

Untouched

By the complexity of life

Took my leave

My sadness in tow

Wrapped on a winter’s couch

Sadness descended

Knocked sideways

The pain

Thought long gone

Merely dormant

Lingered for days.