As the saying goes, "The grass is always greener on the other side".
I know that there've been many times when I've been envious of my friends with kids as they have been of me ie "you're so lucky you don't have kids". Being childless is NOT something to ever be envied especially if you've done everything you could.
I saw the image below shared earlier this year by a few of my #childlessnotbychoice friends. It got me thinking about how perception is often far from reality. While we are in #selfisolation, I know that many of my friends with kids are struggling especially for those balancing work and home-schooling kids. And that's not even considering what single parents are coping with! But I haven’t seen one post all year where those people blessed to have a child or two have once said how glad they were to have had this extra time with their child(ren). Yet many of these same people (predominantly mothers) were also complaining when they wanted to return to work and were feeling guilty about putting their kids in childcare.
During lockdown earlier this year, a friend I've known for over 3 decades shared an image (that they perceived to be funny) about how much free time those of us who are childless must be having during lockdown. I was extremely hurt and (privately) let that friend know how it may me feel. [This image was taken from an original post from our national station ABC by Lawrence Leung].
As part of #RedefiningmyPlanA, I continue to do my best to focus on what is going well and how I can thrive rather than just survive. The image shown here is where I am working on directing my thoughts. We are ALL going through a tough time (especially at present) and thinking that someone else has it better serves NO purpose other than to further heighten our anxiety and stress levels.
I don't know anyone who has found lockdown to be easy regardless of what your life situation is. Many of my friends have struggled financially and emotionally with having to be stood down from work or having to close their businesses.
Personally, I have
found that having to work remotely for the past 6 months and having the company of my furbabies to be a blessing.
They also need attention and you can't have a conversation with them. And like human kids, they don't understand why you can't play or cuddle with them.
Whether or not you have children, everyone faces challenges and during lockdown, those challenges may be significantly heightened.
What we ALL need to do is have empathy for each other no matter whether you have children or if like me, you are #childlessnotbychoice.
I know that I have been struggling emotionally during this latest lockdown restrictions in Melbourne (Australia) far more than I did during the first lockdown as July & August are triggering months for me resulting from a number of past traumas.
I hope that by raising awareness of #commentsthathurt for the #CNBC community, posts about "life being easy without kids" or "you're lucky you don't have kids" are uttered far less often.
#WeareWorthy #empathyinaction #grassisnotalwaysgreenerforthechildless Let's practice greater #tolerance and #kindness as the new #normal and avoid #judgement as much as possible.