16. do you want mine POSTER.jpg

No kids? Want mine?

Steph asked how people feel when they hear this comment. How have they responded, how have they felt and if they have let it pass, what would they have liked to say?

Yes, I would take your kids in a heartbeat!!

Saying things like this is hurtful and disrespectful. I'll always say yes because kids that you want to give away I will always desire and long for

Only if I never have to give them back!

That's a horrible thing to joke about especially to someone like myself that is infertile

Usually if I'm feeling sarcastic I say leave them I'll make sure they get taken care of, then they laugh and pretend I didn't say it.

How do you feel? It makes me feel upset and hurt

It just beaks my heart. I feel like it's not a fair question to ask. Everyone knows that they aren't really going go give their kids away.

Mad! It’s just inconsiderate

I honestly feel sorrow for the children who live with the mum who said that. I feel sorrow that all my efforts of having a child has left me with people saying such things.

I want to smack them. because they have no idea how lucky they are.

Oh yes, I hate that commen - as if you meant it but it won't help

If you just let it pass, what would you like to say?
I know you're tired, but please remember how very lucky you are.

You aren't serious, and you never know who can or can't have kids and it's just as inappropriate as people asking do you have kids and why not. Infertility hurts. And don't tell us to just adopt either, that doesn't cure infertility.

Ungrateful cow

A comment like this is an insult to everyone involved. It is an insult to the kids, as if they were just possessions that can be passed around, it is an insult to their parents who look like idiots for wanting to pass around their own kids like if they were second hand clothes or something, and it is an insult to us, the childless people who so desperately would want to become parents and we very well know the parents who are saying this comment are just joking. Like dangling food in front of a starving person and laughing while saying: "You want it?....hahaha...just "kidding"....what are you getting upset about...where's your sense of humour?.." Just an awful comment all around. I hate it.

Please don't ask questions like this because it is hurtful.

Nothing. I have in the past smiled sweetly and said be careful not to wish them away. Some of us would kill to have the choice.

I've learned that I can't fix the train of thoughts many have so I try to explain my infertility and how I became this way....most get extremely uncomfortable at that point and politely retract their statements....occasionally I might get another smart ass answer from the occasional insensitive ass....but most commonly people are very understanding once they here the facts and the costs of most treatments here in the United States

Don't ever take them for granted because they are precious gifts that some of us were never given a choice to have,

Usually I just roll my eyes and let it go. The eye roll is of course unseen because they're not actually interested in you or your struggles when they say this, it’s just a tasteless joke to divert the attention back to them and their kids and away from the uncomfortable fact that you have none. It’s a really dumb statement that you can't even formulate an intelligent response to. But sometimes I'd like to have generic adoption papers in my purse so when people make that "joke" I can be like "absolutely. Here, just sign them over." Maybe then they'd think about it before they say it again and that it’s not something to treat lightly.