The journey to accepting infertility is a journey that is either separate from or intertwined with new dreams. Some dream new dreams and some allow dreams to pass away and create a new reality apart from anything they envisioned. For some of us we embark on the adoption journey-some are successful and some aren’t, for others of us we embrace the childless life and all that it entails; and some of us are trying to accept our infertility and discern adoption or foster care. Our lives are different from most people for many reasons no matter which path we choose to follow or is chosen for us for one reason or another.
The journey does not end when we choose what path we will follow whether we dream new dreams, accept the old dreams will never come to fruition or a combination of the two. The journey also encompasses those in our life in one way or another. They may choose to embrace our journey and travel with us, they may choose to watch from afar or just completely disassociate because they don’t understand or can’t handle their own dreams being dashed. This will include our spouses/partners, family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, church families and more. For those who are alienated due to the situation I can’t imagine what is more difficult or how much more compounded/magnified the situation is.
This is where courage comes in. We have the courage to embrace our situation. Embracing it is not the same as liking or accepting. These are very different. Embracing that we are at a point where biological procreation is not possible for us. Embracing our broken dreams and our own brokenness in healing from this loss. Embracing that no matter what society, our family or friends may say we are still incredible women with so much to offer this world.
We have careers, talents, and gifts that were given to us that we are using to make the world a better place no matter how big or small our contribution is.
We offer unique perspectives that others cannot due to their not experiencing situations that we have faced. We offer compassion, a sharing of loss, a sincerity of feelings, offering of care to those who experience things that are and are not visible. We offer different perspectives on many things that others may not see or think of. We speak for others who need someone to speak for them since our common bond is so taboo on many social norms. We work tirelessly for our voice to be heard and made to matter.
We are no less of a person than those who are able to procreate.
We are worthy of love, respect and acceptance. Nothing less than any other human being in this world. We are united in our voices that we matter. Our numbers are growing. We are not alone.