Ambivalence

Dialogue has stopped

Rocks, untouched, sit in the garden

The pavement is a blank canvas

Grief is the only color I know to use

A Yoga Room

Not in the consulting room

does heart break

but in the footsteps walking away

in the closing of the car door.

Never have i ever bean

Nor never have i had a bean

Never have i grew a bean

Sometimes

I catch them out of the corner of my eye.

The little boy and little girl

I saw your face when you made love to me

I saw your face when you held me close and we danced

Oh — who’s that?
She reminds me of someone I know, frightening!
Don’t look at her head, it’s dangerous!
There must be something wrong with her...

Childlessness is the absence of a life, a life you planned
That didnt happen......

Memories come and go

I am back there, lying in the bath. The violins sweeping and a piano softly playing.

The ordeal is over, but the real pain is just about to begin.

I had this vision

That love would arrive

And bring with it the gift

Of other small lives

Sometime tsunami that drowns me
rises up to choke my heart
from fathomless depths.

He says get over it
Move on
You can’t stay stuck here