Do you have kids?
No, I used to appoligize
With a smile
Read moreA Letter to my Childless Love
My love, Life has taken an unexpected turn. You and I will not have the children we imagined, talked about together. Dreamed of. Our life will not take the course we had planned.
Read moreI was already Living Plan C or D; I didn’t have another one ready for Being Childless (again)
I learned around 1992 at age 22 that I likely would not be able to have children on my own. At that time there were very limited options to fix the issues that prevented me from conceiving.
Read moreChildless after IVF is like Flying to Paris...
My name is Rianna Hijlkema, originally from The Netherlands, but currently living in Colombia. I’m a serial entrepreneur and a nomad since 2011.
Read moreWelcoming a Ukrainian into My Home
When I turned 50 at the beginning of this year, I set myself 50 mini-challenges to refocus my life on nice positive things.
Read moreMoving from Hopelessness to Empowerment at the Intersection of Grief and Love
At the Intersection of grief is love, hopelessness is empowerment.
Read moreThey Say/Alright
They want to help!
to fix your brokenness, to get you back into the flow
so you aren’t uncomfortable (to them) anymore
Read moreEmpty Cavity
This is a mixed media piece I created when exploring my feelings around the removal of my fallopian tube and discovering I could no longer conceive children naturally.
Read moreThe Power of “And”
A few years ago I was sitting on my couch, working on my laptop and a notification popped letting me know I had a new email.
Read moreBecoming Our Own Rainbow
It’s amazing , how different I feel now, compared to last year
Read moreThe Visitor
The front door closed softly behind her as she left. I was left with the residue of her words. Not sharp, nor blunt, just matter-of-fact as if what she had to say was the most obvious thing in the world.
Read more10 things which Helped me Survive the first 2 years Permanently Childless Not By Choioce
I am now heading towards year 3 of being CNBC, however, I wanted to focus on the first 2 years, as grief expert David Kessler says that he sees “early grief” last at least that long.
Read moreA Bunch of Good Things Here
In my story, I will tell you: I am childless, divorced, pansexual, low-income. Endure chronic disease: Thyroid, parathyroid, fibroids, osteoporosis, most recently, Meniere’s disease. This is a story.
Read moreDrawing A Line
Goodbye Molly Harriet.
Farewell Matilda Elizabeth.
Sweet dreams Arthur Jonathan.
So long Finn James.
Not Better or Worse, Just Different
As my husband and I started our second egg retrieval process, we knew we were running out of options and energy to continue with our fertility treatments.
Read moreÇocuksuz bir Kadın olarak çiçek açmaya karar verdim ve çocuksuz yaşam tek gerçek değil...
26 yıllık Çocuksuz hikayem var benimde. Evlendiğimde 19 yaşındaydım.
(in Turkish with English translation)
Read moreWisteria Days
I hear your call,
Like you held me up every time I would fall,
Scrapped knees on concrete,
While across the school walls wisteria creeped,
Read moreTwo Waves Forward, One Wave Back
Letting Go
To move forward, I had to stop making big changes and release expectations around external factors that I thought could fix me and fill the loss.
Read moreMoving On From Motherhood
I’ve always loved to write. Infact, one time a fortune cookie told me that I would be an author, but it didn’t predict this future.
Read more