They want to help!
to fix your brokenness, to get you back into the flow
so you aren’t uncomfortable (to them) anymore
And because otherwise,
maybe something’s wrong with you.

And even your closest friends, who love you deeply
may well-meaning say...
Just let it be, let it go, and then it will happen for you!
There’s a bigger plan, there’s a way, they say

But when it still doesn’t,

(because they want to help!) they say…
Have you tried?
What about?
I know someone who...
You should just (fill in the blank)
and…
When you’re least expecting, it might!
or, (and the most devastating of all)
If it’s meant to be, it will be.

but it wasn’t,
and it won’t

because you really can’t, and you really don’t always get what you want
Even if you beg
Even if you promise
Even if you slowly and then quickly implode
Even if you sob
and feel forsaken
and feel so unbelievably angry
Even if you disappear for years at a time

And then eventually, they stop saying
And eventually, when you listen - but not to anyone else

eventually

After lifetimes
After mountains and deserts
After total, completely total, destruction
After there’s nothing left to feel, not shame, not hope, not jealousy, not self-pity, not anger and not even uncomfortable
A slight shift will surprise you
and there you are, even if you will never be that other you again, the you before they all said

And you will
slowly,
slowly,
slowly
and then suddenly

know

It will be
I will be
(and you will be)...
I am

alright.

Anonymous