A group artwork by the meditation classes for childless not by choice. In guiding the meditation classes, specifically for childless not by choice, I have observed that the life journey which has brought people to being childless is so varied
Read moreLeftovers
Why You Can’t Grieve Your Childlessness Until Just the Right Moment
I dreamed about a baby last night. She was extra tiny — she could fit into the palm of my hand.
Read moreMissing
There is a hollow, black space in my heart
Read moreEndless Reproduction
Endless Reproduction is a book of photographs made during the years I was unsuccessfully trying to get pregnant.
Read moreJanet's Story
Hi there my name is Janet and this is my story. I was happily married at 23 to my best friend and we had our whole lives ahead of us.
Read moreThe Great Ache
My children are wee ghosts, Invisible to another. They are silent, Un-lived dreams.
Read moreHiding in plain sight - a childless woman’s perspective and life
Before the chance of motherhood was taken far away from me
I was young, I was in love, I had dreams, I was free
Read moreImpossible Decisions
The struggle to conceive started on our honeymoon night. You see, we had tried to do things “God’s way.” We waited for 15 long months to have sex — until after we were married.
Read moreNothing could have prepared me for this sudden silence..
My name is Rianna Hijlkema, originally from The Netherlands, but currently living in Colombia.
Read moreThe Nest of Death
I laid it all inside
so intricately, with grass and twigs
moss and hair, an overwhelming instinct driving on,
through unsure years
Read moreMy Goddaughter’s Shoes
I don’t often feel sad about being childless any more, but recently I was floored by, of all things, my goddaughter’s shoes.
Read moreMy Sister had a Baby Today
My sister had a baby today and I am heartbroken. I ache like someone died
Read moreA Letter to You
Dear reader, I assume you are way younger then me. Perhaps you are in early stages in accepting your life after the infertility. This letter is for you.
Read moreSaying Goodbye
My darling Regina, Please know that you were loved and desired and will always have a special place in my heart.
Read moreTo the Child We'll Never Meet
We were so excited to meet you.
We could picture your smiling face
We thought of how you’d look and sound
We were told you’d basically run the place
Too little, too late!
I should consider myself so lucky, I had amazing parents and had a great childhood. I am an only child and I spent a lot of time playing on my own but my doll, my baby girl Caroline came every where with me.
Read moreDear World
As I write this I can barely keep the tears at bay. My emotions swell because I am so angry.
Read morePrecipice
It shows the things that hold me in this world, and keep me feeling something, anything, amidst the messy noise of grief…
Read moreLike a Wave
Like a wave it comes.
Starts small, I feel it building.
Getting bigger. And bigger.