Jas
1. I wanted to have a child my whole life. That’s a big grief!
2. Just because you didn’t see me take time off work doesn’t mean I didn’t try so hard to become a mum. IVF isn’t available to everyone neither is adoption.
3. I don’t need you to list a selection of things I should have done to become a mum. I tried everything that was available to me. Believe me, I know more about trying to become a mum then you could ever dream of.
4. Telling me a miracle story about somebody having a baby at 48 just shows me how clueless and insensitive you are. These rare miracles are just that and believe me will unfortunately not be my story.
5. Belittling my grief is a reflection of your nastiness in my opinion. I have the right to grieve not being a mum. Belittling me and telling me to get over it is not the right course of action.
6. I’m not able to listen to you moan endlessly about having to bring your kids to activities or tell me how lucky I am. I would give anything to be in your shoes and I don’t understand why you can’t get this, especially if you know I am childless not by choice. Complain to your mom friends because I so am not the audience.
7. I think the concept of mums having more empathy than non-moms is completely ridiculous. The cruelness that I’ve been subjected to as an involuntary childish woman at the hands of mothers is concrete proof of this.
8. I deserve to be acknowledged in the workplace too. Marriage and parenthood are always applauded and celebrated even if none of these have anything to do with the actual work a person is doing. I firmly believe workplaces need to be more inclusive of childless, child free and single people. I don’t know how this issue of inclusion (or lack thereof) is not looked at more.
9. I know if I had been a mum (no matter how stressed I was and yes I do get it can be stressful) I would never lessen or belittle my child by telling a stranger they could have them because they’re so bold or by telling them they ruined my life. Never! Privately moaning to your friends is okay but not in front of the child because it does damage some children greatly.
10. If you have bullied or lessened somebody due to their childless or childfree status, I believe that you need to be held accountable for that.
