Danielle Hines

I painted these forget-me-nots in dedication to the children we longed for, dreamed of, and lost.

Forget-me-nots, with their natural beauty and vibrant colors, remind me that it is possible to honor this grief, while also acknowledging that life can still hold wonder, possibility, and growth.

Three years ago, I began exploring my creativity through watercolor and drawing. At that time, I remember feeling like I was just beginning to see the tiniest sliver of light after many months of deep grief over my childlessness.

I was attending weekly meditation classes for childless-not-by-choice women, and she would often discuss the importance of self-care and acknowledging the smallest of joys. I became curious about what relatively low-energy activities and creative pursuits I could try to potentially bring in more joy. I bought some inexpensive watercolor paints and paper and began following online tutorials for beginners.

As my connections within the childless community strengthened, I started creating hand-painted cards for a few of my childless friends who live in other areas of the world. I love that my artwork can be a small joy in someone else’s day.

Now, the hours I spend painting or drawing are some of my favorite moments of the week. I often make a ritual of it by having a cup of tea and listening to a funny podcast or one of my Spotify playlists while I create.

When it comes to being childless not by choice, I don’t think the grieving process can be rushed, and it has taken me years to feel like I am going to be okay living a life without children. For me, making art is one thing that is helping me cope with the loss. By finding and pursuing things that bring me joy, I am noticing that my life can still be beautiful, fun, and meaningful.