I dreamt about you
You never had a face
You were part of my dream life
You were part of my silent thoughts
Read moreHope For My New Future
I spent most of my life looking to have children. As a child I loved playing with my dolls, pretending they were my little babies, thinking that one day they will be real kicking, screaming, giggling bundles of pure joy that will love me as I will love them.
Read moreStruggle. Freedom. Pain. Peace.
All I wanted to be when I grew up was to be a wife and mother. I was a social misfit and longed to fit in.
Read moreHope
Taken in local woods, this reflects what my path looks like now.
Read moreShe’ll be coming round the mountain
My experience of childlessness is like climbing a mountain on a circular path- moving on is moving upwards and to my surprise I am feeling hopeful.
Read moreOf Parallel Universes and Childlessness
Have you heard of parallel universes? I’m no quantum physicist but basically it is the idea that many universes exist at the same time, parallel with the one we live in right now.
Read moreUsing My Voice for Awareness
Sharing my story has given me strength, courage and healing in accepting my life as a childless woman.
Read moreDid I Miss the Boat? No, I just Ended up Taking Another One
I expected to have children. The lives of everyone in our family were derailed by a car crash that happened to a family member. My first husband wasn’t good at helping a bereaved wife.
Read moreFreedom
I am 69 years young. I was a nurse, Ward sister and midwife. Like many of you I have experienced the profound sadness that not being able to have your baby brings.
Read moreMoving Forwards - A Meditation on Letting Go
There was a time when I was caught in a small sense of self, living with apprehension, fear, avoidance and grief.
Read moreSteps Towards Imperfection and Embracing It
I had high hopes for 2020, it was the first time in a long time that I felt a stirring inside me of things shifting and moving of change and energy. I even made a list of all the things I wanted to do, see, achieve, and explore…
Read moreLucky
You are able to conceive as both of you have all working parts. Never did I think these words from the fertility specialist would end up being a lie.
Read moreA Story of Two Parts
Growing up, so many of us think about what we will do as adults and what life will look like. For me, the overriding dream I had, from a very early age, was to travel the world.
Read moreUm, God, what’s happening here?
For good chucks of my life, I would be thankful for the way my life was unfolding.
Read moreRemembering My A,B,Cs
Shortly before midnight on the night of my 50th birthday, I started to cry and could not stop. My mother had died four months earlier.
Read moreNoticing Good Change
Lengthening of muscle as the stretch reaches a hand's-length further past the mole on her right calf.
Opening of psyche as her new and healthy thought bubbles up unbidden and is accommodated.
Read moreSilver Linings
Right now I am happier than I’ve ever been. This doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t change anything if I could.
Read moreTravels of My Heart
Out of the blue the world stood still, and dreams shattered into pieces
Read moreScribbler
When I was a young child my pre-school bully teased me for being “a scribbler.” My inability
and unwillingness to color inside the lines earned me the taunt.