Follicular Atresia.

I roll the words over in my mind and in my mouth.

I understand the physiology.

But the feeling?

That is something different.

All those little eggs re absorbed over time.

Even after menopause a thousand remain.

Does this mean I’m a mother?

Convention and common sense tell us an egg is not a child.

Yet, it is energy.

It is potential.

For some women, willing a single line to become double, it is hope.

The realisation stops me short.

I now think of my aging ovaries in a new light.

Here is something within me moving into a new state ,

For no energy is ever lost or created.

Only transformed.

So, I return to the question.

Am I a mother?

Yes, a custodian of energy.

And until I return to the earth myself,

May those little atoms be safe within my body and rise when the time is right.