I’m not a mother
I’m no longer a wife
Read moreEndometriosis & childless not by choice
From the age of 13 years old, I suffered with very heavy and extremely painful periods. On many occasions, I was not able to go to school and had to stay in bed.
Read moreScars
A Different Life Begins at 50
I turned 50 recently and reflected on the last decade, and what it now means to be a few years on from my initial childless grief.
Read moreCreating a new story
I've told a lot of stories to myself. I have written them, attempted to live them, 'Rightmove'd' them, taken them on holiday, and discarded them amongst life litter.
Read morePrecious Love
Someone once said to me that I couldn't know how real love felt until I experience the one thing they had that I didn't. I disagreed.
Read moreAn infertility poem
How can I miss you, when you never came to be?
Read moreDid I Subconsciously Choose to Remain Childless?
I am childless by circumstance, not my choice, but my story is complicated. My circumstances include:
Read moreKnowing My Limitations
Unlike some childless women, my tragedy doesn’t include a defining moment in which I learned I wouldn’t be a mother.
Read moreThe Worst Comment I Ever Heard
She claimed she didn’t mean to say it. She said she got “lost in the moment” and she was not even considering how it might sound to me.
Read moreMo scéal
Our hopes to hold all of you are gone!
That dark scanning room confirms no heartbeat
Why the same results over and over again!
Read moreIt was real
The Road to Childless Not By Choice
I have written this essay multiple times, each time dissatisfied with how it unfolds.
Read moreEpisode 4: Messages
I started writing in the World Childless Week of 2020. Since then, I talk about the feelings that ebb and go as we come to terms with our involuntary childlessness.
Read moreSomebody Else's Grandma
As a student I worked as a cashier at a local retail store
a quiet senior citizen named Evelyn worked there, too.
Every day I think all of these things
I don’t think that I have fully accepted that I am going to be childless. I still believe that there is a chance I might not be. But then I wonder if I’m just saying that because I’m in denial.
Read moreMy feminine self
Soon after picking up Jody Day’s book ‘Living The Life Unexpected’, I found myself making a sudden note in pencil on the opening pages, to capture a felt insight I’d just had as I was reading.
Read moreThe Dog Mum
At some point during my 20’s, I started to question the appeal of dogs. They got hair and drool everywhere, kept you homebound. I was that person who never stopped to pat a dog on the street.
Read moreVersions of myself
It started with tears and the feeling of darkness,
The ground felt unsteady and the days black,
Read moreThe Wedding Cake
A family tradition for many through the history of time....
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