Cathy
1. I am Canadian, but live in Germany and they call me automatically childess.
2. I had a pregnancy, my child lived, my baby’s heartbeat stopped, my child was born through a operation in a hospital without a heartbeat and the law in Germany refused to allow me to hold or even bury my child. – They labelled me childless.
3. I get asked at least once a month for years if I have any children – even from people who do not take the time to ask my name first – they are not interested in me if I am childless not by choice because that is too uncomfortable for them to acknowledge.
4. It took me over 17 years to realise myself, my worth and my rights – I am a Sternenkind/Star mom to my child in heaven. For the first time I gave my child an existence, a name – and that is Lily Fleur. I will never allow anyone any more to tell me otherwise. I have a child – a child in heaven, and yes I am still childess not by choice because my child is not alive and I do not have any living children of my own – Yet! – they still categorise me as childless.
5. I pay higher taxes just because I do not have children on this earth – they claim I do not want them, so I need to pay more – they stamp me childless and dismiss the pain that comes with feeling misunderstood as a long battle of wanting living children and being punished extra for it.
6. My gynaecologist told me for at least 8 years that everything was ok with me during examinations then I just by chance changed doctors and by the first examination at the new gynaecologist she found multiple large myomas in my body that according to her had to be there for years and sadly most likely was the reason for not being able to bear a child. This malpractice by the first gynaecologist killed my Lily Fleur and made every chance of having a child fail. This malpractice made me childless not by choice. As I once had 3-Etage-TVT after taking the anti-baby pill once in my life, the option of hormone therapy was ruled out. I had to have an operation to remove my organs and with that remove all chances of having children. I am empty – yet the doctor’s continue to ask me if I may be pregnant – I answer – do you even read my patient files? – they look and then stamp me childless.
7. After this operation, I lost my identity as a woman and they also injured me with another 3-Etage-TVT, a year later it was discovered they forgot a myoma so the next operation, then by this operation they injured my ureter, then after repairing the ureter they injured my bladder and neglected multiple symptoms leading to a total of 9 operations for injuries to numerous organs, plus for encapsulated fluid, multiple fistulas, and an 11 cm hernia. They ruined my body. They made me chronically ill – yet by every operation they continued to ask me if I may be pregnant, by every hospital stay, people asked me if I have children – they are not interested in my medical background nor able to realise that they could answer this question themselves as they removed my organs – Yet! Yes, I do have a child ,,Lily Fleur“ in heaven. They are still not interested. So – yes, I am a mom to Lily Fleur in heaven, yet remain a nothing on this earth.
8. I still get told I am young, still can have kids by some at work or in private – no I cannot, I reply – They just walk away to their own kids.
9. Some tell me to be thankful that I do not have kids – no I will never be thankful for not having living children in this world. It is hard enough to live life with a child in heaven and none on this earth, please stop being so cruel and ungrateful for what I will never be able to have. I have to live an unwanted alternative life and make the best of it.
10. I am now older and somehow a bit past the phase of hoping to become a mother to a living child and enduring all the questions from others about if I have children. – Yet the next dreaded phase is there. Grandma???
When I was asked this question for the first time – I thought, „I cannot endure all this over again.
….
So being the person I have become – I looked for answers that put me in first place,… and now
….
….
….
I am a Grandma!
A Grandma to 2 children: a boy and a girl (sister & brother). I therefore did not have to choose.
No – the mom is not my husband’s normy daugther
No – the dad is not my husband’s normy son
But yes – their children are my grandchildren.
Yet – I remain childless not by choice.
Nomy Lily Fleur is not able to play with the grandchildren on this earth, but Lily Fleur is at every birthday, every xmas, every easter, every soap bubble blown, at every song sung.
How?
How is this possible?
- Through hope and love
The family adopted me and my husband.
So with loving thanks to WCW: I have grown, I have an alternative and real life purpose:
I remain a worthy woman
a starmom/sternkindmutter,
a grandma,
a wife,
a granddaughter
a daughter
an aunt,
a sister,
a cousin
a niece
no body can take this away from me!
YES I AM CNBC
