Ruth Guest

Did you know that although I am built for comfort and not speed, I used to do ballet and tap dancing? I was under ten years old though at the time.

Did you know that I carry an indescribable grief with me every single day of my life for the child I could not bring into this world

But I have also felt moments of unbelievably pure joy by simply mushing clay together or stroking my greyhound’s ears

Did you know that every year when you share pictures of your child’s first day back at school, I die a little inside…again

You think I am strong, but I have cried a million tears for the life I do not have and will never have

You think you know me but only the amazing women in this childless tribe really understand the woman that I am and what made me this way

You think of me as a calm confident professional, but did you know that when someone on maternity leave brings in their bundle of joy, my heart breaks with almost unbearable pain. Because they have my life.

You think my life is empty because I have no children, but I am trying to build a rich full life that has meaning for me

You think I am a mild-mannered menopausal woman when I am in fact a rather sweary, sarcastic and silly individual who still feels like the teenager she was in the 80s (and who would according to my grandmother ‘laugh if your grandmother’s hair was on fire’)

You think you know me… I don’t even know this me… so how could you possibly know me?