Over the past year and a half, I’ve worked from home with and for people I’ve never met. Having to wear masks in public up until recently means that I probably wouldn’t have recognized them if I ran into them on the street. Today, I can say that I’ve met one of the people I work for. I work for a seemingly kind middle-aged couple. I say “seemingly,” because outside of Zoom meetings, I haven’t interacted with them much. That was until the husband invited me to a networking group he is part of. Although the wife is still at their vacation home in Florida, I look forward to eventually meeting her.
Starved for human interaction, I just couldn’t say no. Also, the preparation for this event swayed my desire to attend. I met with the couple beforehand on Zoom to discuss the brief speech I’d be giving. We talked about having a social life in a pandemic and during the aftermath. What the husband said provided me with a great deal of comfort.
I recorded my speech to rehearse and shared it in our group chat. This was something I used to do in my high school drama club days to practice my lines for plays I was in. The husband thought this was a smart idea as he has a performing arts background himself. He then said that he now plays guitar only for himself, as other musician friends of his are “busy with kids and life.”
This couple also doesn’t have children. Whether by choice or circumstance, I don’t know. I don’t ask because I know that it could be triggering if there is a circumstance. If they ever decide to share this with me, I’ll be empathetic and nonjudgmental considering how others have treated me based on my own relationship status.
Having friends be “too busy with kids” has been my biggest struggle making friends as an adult single. I often see this as a “female,” “single,” and “young adult” problem. Men without kids tend to be seen as either “playboy bachelors” or possible homosexuals. Meanwhile, women get more grief. As a result, the half of the population that identifies as male is left out of a conversation they really should be part of.
Being single and childless over a certain age can be isolating. Especially in a small town where people marry and have children rather young. The fact that this person who is male, middle-aged, and in a relationship shares this struggle makes me feel less alone. I honestly couldn’t ask for more from someone I’ll be spending most of my life with.
Lindsay Lemon
Photo by Utsman Media on Unsplash