Michelle Simcox

My infertility journey started when I was 26. I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Syndrome which meant my body was going into early menopause. I started skipping months when I was 15-16 then got married and tested and got the diagnosis. No matter what we tried hormone therapy, birth control pills (to regulate my body) and clomid and set our sights on adoption, surrogate etc … Nothing worked out mostly due to emotions, physiologically it was hard, financial aspect and then our divorce.

It was difficult with 3 sisters having kids (two had single daughters and one with boy / girl twins. I was a part of their lives but my sisters all had a bond I wasn’t a part of. I’ve worked with kids through the years but it’s very difficult when no one will call you mom. It’s taken a lot of tears and emotions and frustration through the years to get where I am today.

I’ve come a long way in my infertility journey even at 61 some things are still difficult baby showers, Mother’s day and the holiday season still get to me. I’m at the point where many of my friends are becoming grandmas another hurdle having to tackle.

Many things I used to avoid or upset me I’m ok with it now and no longer sitting on the floor crying. The picture you see is how far I’ve come being able to connect to a 2 1/2 year old on this level . Her mom is an old friend from high school and who is legal guardian. I started babysitting a year ago my hours at work were cut and she needed help in the evenings and look where this little one and I ate a year later . She’s not mine and get a pang of sadness at times but goes to show you she’s helping me and I’m helping her. I’m not 100% there yet but am proud of the obstacles I’ve overcome being Childless Not By Choice .