Lynsey McCommons
“Be a buffalo! Cows run away from the storm while the buffalo charges toward it—and gets through it quicker.”
I was born with a Congenital Heart Defect and was given a 2% chance of life. I spent a good chunk of my childhood in hospitals, doctor’s offices, testing, etc. I also have numerous health related issues and I never had a “normal” childhood due to it. In college I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder; after attempting to take my own life- then I dropped out of college. During the hiatus time I was taking to work on my mental health, I was sexually assaulted by someone I knew. Through medication and therapy; I was able to go back and finish college.
I found a great guy and got married in 2011, and moved to St. Louis, MO to work on my Graduate schooling. There I received my Master’s in Rehabilitation Counseling to pursue being a therapist for children in the foster care system/special needs. During this time of graduate school, I was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and had a rough go of chemotherapy to remedy it.
We eventually moved back to Springfield, Missouri- where I am from to get away from the violence in St. Louis. While there I worked as a Foster Care Case Worker, Community Life Specialist for people with disabilities, and a therapist.
My husband and I always decided due to my health issues, we would plan on fostering to adopt. We started our foster parenting training and then was placed with two boys, who were brothers. We had them for several months but due to COVID restrictions and my health issues we had to disrupt and stop fostering.
During this time, I had a TIA (mini-stroke) and I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure. I had to make the decision to stop work and I end up going on Disability. This past year I was able to find the right therapist I needed at the time and the right psychiatrist. I have also been diagnosed with Autism and ADHD this past year. I went through EMDR therapy which helped heal and process the traumas I have experienced- sexual and medical. I still have triggers and flashbacks but they are much better.
Recently, I have started volunteering as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children in the foster care system. I also attend weekly painting classes and paint for my several nieces and nephews. It has been instrumental in my healing and improving my confidence.
My husband and I have decided that due to my numerous health issues we will not continue to proceed in having children. We have our animal children- 2 dogs, an axolotl, a snake, and a Herman Tortoise. I also have embraced my friend’s kiddos as my nieces/nephews and am able to spoil them as much as I can. There are times I struggle with not being a mother, I felt like I was born to be a mother, but I have accepted that I was born to be an auntie.
I chose to paint a buffalo during this time of healing because I am like one. I have faced trauma, depression, health problems, etc. head on. The storm that I’ve been through has been rough but I am thankful because it made me who I am. I know there can and will be more storms but I have equipped myself to charge through the storms that come my way.
