Anonymous

Life was so dark, I felt so alone.
I’d do absolutely anything to have a baby.
On the treatment roundabout
On the fertility rollercoaster.
The harder I tried, the less it worked.
I pushed myself to the edge.
I couldn’t take anymore.

I’m sorry I never gave you an heir.
A grandchild.
A legacy.

No more treatment? What now?
What next? Who do I turn to?
What will life be like without the ultimate prize?
What will happen to me?
I’m the only one like this.

I had to do something.
I had broken myself.
I had to put me & my marriage first.
I had to sacrifice my best friend for my mental health.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there
When you had your baby.

Through the darkness & the drudgery.
The sadness. The broken dreams.
A chink of light.
Others? Support? Community?
What does CNBC even mean?

Reaching up into the light.
I’m not the only one like this.
I’m not odd or weird.

They see you, they hear you, they listen.
They validate your feelings.
They’ve been there too.

We connect.
We allow each other to bloom.
Our unique heart wrenching stories.
Supporting the ups, the downs.
The inevitable triggers.

Together we grow.
Together we will flourish.