A heavy heart behind the smile
Knowing what will never be
Those tiny fingers clasping mine
Those blue eyes finding mine
A empty grief engulfs me
The sense of what could have been
No one asks or stops to wonder
The pain that comes from hidden grief
Left outside the norms of society
Without the access card of childbirth
Daily reminders in every activity
Of the missing pieces of my puzzle
Finding joy in others babies
Such gratitude to those who share
Laughter and cuddles numb the pain
Connection and love in a different way
Seeking strength to shine a light
To the corners of my heart I hide
Not for pity or for judgement
But rather for myself to heal
Loss never leaves your heart
Grief always sits just beneath the surface
But healing comes from acceptance
Enabling joy in a path less trodden

Tash