People often tell me that I do not let go.

If that were true then my relationship with my mother would be based on all the years gone by,

left in the lurch: with pain and so much more.

My relationship would be based on what went wrong.

Yet, that is not what I focus on at all with my mom

- as I can forgive.

- as I can focus on the relationship now.

When situations change to a potential better, I can let go of at least a bit of the past.

We can and should actually learn from the past.

When the situation stays the same or the risk of pain, hurt, an selfishness prevails – then my today and future loses hope.

I become less worthy and cannot let go.

Everyday, I let go a bit of my losses,

Including my loss of having my own living children on this earth.

Everyday I honour my losses –

including my Fleur de Lis/Lily Rose Marie –

But this chapter of my life is not something that ends.

My loss is all that I have.

I let go a bit – not all.

My loss is no longer just a loss.

My losses are a part of my life.

They make me worthy.