Grace

I was pregnant once.
A long time ago.

19 years ago, I count in my head.
19, I say out loud.
A young man… I always felt he was a boy.
Maybe at university now,
Studying hard, partying hard.
With his sweetheart.
Thoughts of the future – of the next.

The next which I am in, but hardly a part of.
A part of my life stopped.
Taken from me – half cruelly, half intentionally.
It was a pregnancy I couldn’t continue.

The physical abuse started once he knew.
Pregnancy too much for him to handle.
The abuse too much for me to…
I knew my future wouldn’t include it.

I walked away, and with it ended a dream.
It had to end at that point.
But I still had hope that there would be another.
A future filled with laughter, with fun...
With family, with children.

What happened? It didn’t.
It too, was cruelly snatched away.