Mary Bratz

Why don’t you have kids?          

That is an extremely personal question and it’s none of your business.

 You could always adopt! (or foster/babysit/mentor)

Well, thank you, Einstein for your brilliant idea. Chances are that the person has been dealing with this for several years, or even decades. Do you really think they never thought of that? It’s an insult to their intelligence.

(chuckling) You can have mine!                     

Wow! This poor attempt at a joke does not lighten their mood. It makes it heavier. 

Oh, having kids isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s dismissive. Imagine your life without your kids.

I wish I had your life! No responsibility!

That’s extremely insulting. You don’t know what that person is going through or has been through.

It wasn’t meant to be/God’s will.

It’s dismissive.

Why don’t you just do it on your own? You don’t need a man!

Maybe the person wants a family. Not everybody wants to be a single mother.

(At church, to someone who wants to marry and have a family.)

Maybe you have the gift of singleness!

It’s dismissive. The person really wants a family and you are not helping.

(At church, to an older woman)

Sarah was 90 when she had Isaac!

Because God made a specific promise to Abraham because he was to be the father of all nations. There is nothing in the bible that states that God made this same promise to everyone. Giving someone false hope is not productive. It’s dismissive and does not allow the person to grieve.

YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE!

YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!

Now, this one is just cruel.